If You Give a Child a Puppy…

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A Child and a Puppy: Perfect Pair or Disaster?

I was desperate to have a puppy as a child.

When I was 10, I successfully nagged my parents into finally letting me get a puppy. All of my dreams came true, or so I thought…

My Background and the Pet of My Dreams

I have always loved taking care of animals. I was fascinated with all types of creatures in my childhood years, insects, rats, kittens…

I even rescued the occasional newt that didn’t find shelter in time before the snow came (and then rehabilitating them in our bathtub, my Mom put up with a lot).

The one pet that eluded me as a child was the puppy.

We never had a family dog. My parents didn’t want one.

I craved one.

After months of non-stop whining (and at least one Powerpoint presentation), they finally gave in.

I could hardly contain my excitement. Finally: the pet of my dreams!

We would do everything together: snuggle, watch TV, explore the forest behind out house, and so much more. Everything was going to be amazing and perfect.

Or so I thought…

The First Mistake

As a child getting a puppy, waiting to find the right puppy wasn’t on my radar. I wanted it as soon as humanly possible.

We finally found a cheap puppy off of Craigslist. This was an unplanned litter with an unknown sire.

Getting a puppy from an unplanned litter is a gamble at best, and this was our first mistake.

In the case of an unplanned litter, the owners might not have realized their dog was pregnant for a while, so the mother may not have received the proper vet care.

Dogs are animals that generally live for over 10 years, so the commitment level is very high. If you want your child and puppy to have the best start possible, find a puppy that was planned and well looked after. This can help prevent numerous health and behavioral issues down the road.

Getting the Puppy Too Early

Have I mentioned I was completely obsessed with getting a puppy as a child?

By not waiting and getting my puppy while she was very young, I set myself up for further issues that could have been prevented.

My puppy, Lily, was born and raised isolated in a garage with her littermates with very little human interaction. The people who had this litter could not wait to get rid of these accidental puppies.

They were so eager to get rid of her, that they let me take her at 5 weeks old. Normal weaning age is about 8 weeks.

As a 10-year-old child, this was great! I got my puppy early!

I had no idea of the repercussions this would have.

You see, as a puppy grows, it learns valuable lessons from its mother and siblings. One such lesson is “Ouch! You bit too hard and now our fun play/feeding time is over”.

Without this lesson, my puppy would bite people, playfully, but sometimes hard. It can be fixed, but I didn’t have the ability to help my puppy learn this as a child.

How I Failed at Housebreaking

From the day we brought her home, and the rest of summer, I was so happy to finally have my puppy that I never stopped snuggling her.

My parents jokingly said that she wouldn’t learn to walk if I didn’t put her down every once in a while.

When night came, she cried incessantly when I went to bed in my loft and she stayed on the floor. A very reasonable reaction on her end.

I had been giving her non-stop attention throughout each day. At night, when I went away, she was very scared and confused.

I gave in every night and ended up moving my bed to the floor so she could sleep with me.

Having an adorable ball of fur in your bed all night sounds nice, but does not make for a restful night’s sleep. My morning attitude (already grumpy at best) began to swiftly decline, until my parents decided we needed to keep Lily in the downstairs bathroom so we could all get some sleep.

A reasonable reaction on their end. Who wants a cranky 10-year-old in their lives?

No one.

As a child with no idea what puppy potty training entailed, I covered the whole bathroom with newspaper so her messes could be cleaned up easily.

This taught her that everywhere is a bathroom and there no “correct” spot to go. Another huge error on my part.

I can’t remember ever paying attention to if she needed to go to potty but just being upset when she went in the house. Not fair to her, but I didn’t know any better.

The lack of house training led to her eventually being put outside in a kennel.

How I Failed at Training

Despite being very interested in training, I received bad advice that you shouldn’t train puppies until they are six months old.

This advice is meant for more intense training that includes punishing, not for the positive reinforcement training that is more common these days.

Puppies are still babies, even at 6 months old, so training that involves punishing can be a little harsh. Some dogs never really adapt to that sort of training and most modern trainers prefer to use positive reinforcement.

This is where you get the dog to perform the desired behavior by rewarding the behavior with treats and praise. It’s easy, effective, and works on puppy and child both.

Not knowing there were different approaches to training, I went ahead and didn’t train anything until she was 6 months old.

I didn’t understand that part of training is also to reinforce behaviors that we liked and discourage behaviors that we didn’t like. By not even reinforcing basic manners, like not jumping on me when I greeted her, she had no focus when I tried to train her.

By fall, her human contact was becoming limited with me starting school. Any time I would see her she would get overly excited. We weighed nearly the same amount, so when she would jump up on me (with very muddy paws) she would often knock me over.

She was not aggressive in the least, but these encounters would scare me and make me less willing to go out and try to work with her.

The Dream Ends

Finally, the day came where I realized my puppy was more than I could handle. With tears in my eyes, I opted to re-home her to a young couple who had more experience.

Unfortunately, Lily had a very limited scope on how to behave with people. Her new owners gave up on her within a couple weeks and I found her up for sale again.

I took this failure to heart. I knew it was very likely that Lily would end up in a shelter and from there, probably be put down.

Dogs with behavioral problems require more work and not desirable for the majority of families.

I swore to myself that if I ever had another shot with a dog, I would learn everything and do it the right way.

I’m Not Alone

One of my coworkers described her similar first experience owning a dog as “the first pancake” dog. Whenever you make pancakes, the first one is always kind of messed up.

It takes some practice to get it right.

Despite being obsessed with animals, at 10 years old, I was just a child with a puppy. I did not have the time, understanding, tools, or resources to properly raise a puppy on my own.

A Child Cannot be a Puppy’s Parent

As an adult who just raised a puppy, I can honestly say that, in my opinion, puppies are not good pets for children. At least in regards to children being fully responsible for their training.

Puppies are cute as heck, but they are needy, mentally and physically draining. To raise one to be a good adult you need to lay the groundwork immediately and know what signs to watch out for.

I love my parents to death, but they had no idea what they were getting into back then.

None of us did.

If parents are planning on playing the role of trainer in a dog’s life, I think things could work out.

Raising a dog should be a family affair; take time to research all the milestones and what training methods suit your family best.

Alternatives to a Puppy for a Child

If you find there is not enough time or resources to support getting your child a puppy, consider a number of other options.

Kittens require very little training and are more independent by nature. They still live a long time if you are looking for an animal to be part of the family.

The kitten I got when I was 9 years old actually came to college with me and was a great diversion and source of companionship for all my roommates.

Small animals such as rats (my personal favorite), guinea pigs, and rabbits are also a great way to have a responsive furry pet without the 10+ year time commitment of a puppy. They are more fragile however, so be sure you understand what you’re getting into before bringing one home.

Animal shelters are always looking for volunteers. Take your child to help volunteer at your local pound if they are truly obsessed with dogs and puppies.

In Clatsop county, you can find more about our local animal shelter here. 

How I Managed to Not Ruin a Second Dog

My second dog, Jackson, was a whole different experience. Being an adult instead of a child raising a puppy made a world of difference.

At age 23, I had sat in on several dog training classes as part of a college internship, read dozens of training books, and had done much more research on raising puppies.

Over all, I was much better informed and knew what I needed to do before we got him.

We bought him from a breeder who focused on socializing and interacting with the puppies from birth. Jackson played with small children every day and was with his litter until 8 weeks old. He had already learned many valuable lessons from his siblings, mother, and human friends before we even got him.

The dam and other puppies from this litter had their shots and medical check ups on time and were well looked after.

We went with a breeder over a rescue dog because I wanted to know the dog’s whole history.

I wanted to know that they were a relatively blank slate and reduce the number of other variables that might have already influenced the puppy before he came to us.

By the time we got Jackson, I understood how housebreaking worked. I knew I needed to take him out to go potty approximately a million times each day (and night).

The importance of puppy classes was not lost on me, and I focused on training and socializing him as soon as we brought him home. (I had already signed up for puppy classes before he even came home!)

Hubby and I were diligent with working with him when we were home.

How the Second Dog Compares

He is by no means perfect, he still pulls on the leash a bit and gets excited when people come over (both can be corrected, I have gotten a bit lazy). But in reality, these issues are so insignificant.

He doesn’t potty in the house, destroy our furniture, and is really just a good and fun dog to be around.

Right now he’s laying with his head in my lap, napping while I write. He is a part of our family and we love him.

Honestly, I am not entirely sure that I’ll even want another puppy in the future.

Puppies are cute, but they are a TON of work.

Jackson is almost 2 years old now and I am just starting to feel like we’ve made it past the exhausting puppy phase.

Final Thoughts: Wait to Get Your Child a Puppy

Getting a puppy for a child might seem like a fun and good idea, but it can be rather traumatic.

I still remember Lily and the life path that I led her down. It’s not fair to her how things turned out.

If I could go back and convince my childhood self one thing it would be, “just wait“.

Wait until you’re older to get a dog, it will be better.

Before you get your child a puppy, consider other options. Have them spend more time with their other animals, look into other pets that might be a better fit, volunteer at an animal shelter, or see if you can sit in on dog training classes.

If parents are motivated to get a dog as well as the child, things can be totally different.

Puppies are babies and they need parents. They need structure and rules. They thrive on having distinct boundaries and guidance.

Children, even those well-meaning, can have a hard time handling this. Parents will need to train the dog, or at the very least supervise and make sure training is occurring.

Remember, a dog is at least a 10 year commitment. When the kids up and leave, you’ll want to be sure the dog is someone you still want to be around!

Do you have a “first pancake dog” story? Share it in the comments below!

Want more on how we succeeded raising our puppy Jackson?

• See Pat 1 of how we house trained him on this blog post, despite both of us working away from home.
• If you’re interested in how we socialized him, Part 2, check this one out (warning: lots of puppy photos!).
• We also have a one year birthday update for him here as well, our boy has grown so quickly!
• Looking for training resources? Dr. Ian Dunbar is the author of the book Before and After Getting Your Puppy, our bible for raising Jackson. He has free online courses here.

Pets that are given up often end up in animal shelters, please consider donating to a shelter or rescue near you. 

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